What Should Daniel Do? A Plea for Help.

I am beginning to think about what I want my job to be for the rest of my life and I have no idea.  Well, that’s a huge lie.  I have an idea.  In fact, I have many ideas.  That’s the problem.  I need help.  For those of you who don’t know, I am majoring in Marketing and Accounting and minoring in Chinese.  I am currently in China (duh.) taking business classes (duh.), but I am not sure if I want to go into business when I graduate.  I will present the options that I have come up with and then I would like someone to choose for me what I should do with the rest of my life because I’m indecisive.  Obviously.

Option 1:  Consulting

I could be a consultant.  I could work for a firm like Deloitte and travel all over the US (and the World) and help business solve problems.  I love traveling and solving problems.  This seems like a great job idea.  The situation would always be changing because I would always be getting new projects and that seems awesome.  The pay is good and I would get to meet all sorts of people (also good).

The Downside:  I don’t think I want to do business.  I don’t find it entirely interesting 100% of the time, and in all my MBA classes here, none of the students look happy.  They actually spend a lot of time complaining about work.  I would prefer to be happy in my job. 

Option 2:  Accountant

I could be an accountant.  No matter my major, I will graduate with 150 hours which makes me CPA eligible, and I like working with numbers.  I have already taken 2 accounting classes, powned them, and found them pretty interesting.  Going into accounting is also as close to a guaranteed job as I’m going to get because about 99.99% of the businesses that come to recruit at Miami are accounting firms, or firms looking for accounting majors.

The Downside:  Raise your hand if you fall out of your seat from excitement from hearing the word accounting?  Did any of you raise your hands?  Probably not (if you did, I’m sorry.  That’s unfortunate).  Going into accounting means that I wouldn’t get to travel, and the work doesn’t exactly change much.  Accounting seems very… static.

Option 3:  Lawyer

I could be a lawyer.  I’ve already taken some practice LSATs, I’ve done research into the different types of law, and even met with the pre-law advisors at Miami.  I would never want to be a trial lawyer, that would blow, but I think it would be fun to do international law.  That would allow me to travel a lot and maybe even practice my Chinese.  I would be able to read a lot and I would also get to learn a lot.  I would even get to call myself Daniel Albert Mater Esquire.  Who doesn’t want the title of “Esquire”?

The Downside:  Three years of Law School and $150,000 of debt and I may no longer be a functioning member of society.  Also, from what I hear, and watch on infinitely reliable TV shows, lawyers are prone to alcohol and drug addictions.

Option 4:  Computer Programmer

I could be a computer programmer.  I like computers (especially Apple) and I am fairly proficient at using them.  I have even been a registered software developer with Apple for the past six months (despite completely lacking all programming knowledge).  I have watched podcasts from Stanford on how to program for the iPhone and even taught myself BASIC when I was in high school.  I forgot all of it.  But.  I am trying to teach myself Objective-C programming language right now.

The Downside:  This may be perceived to be more boring than accounting.  As cool as it would be to design computer programs and systems, I would be stuck at a desk for the entire day, not get to travel, and there is no Prefix or Suffix that I could add to my name that would make me sound important like if I was a lawyer (Esquire? Still cool.)

Option 5:  Government Work (Specifically the State Department)

I could work for the government.  They are hiring.  This is probably another guaranteed job in one form or another.  All the baby-boomers will be retiring, and with the “Global Economic Crisis” the government will hire more people to stave off high unemployment rates.  I would specifically like to be an analyst for the State Department.  I’m thinking my specialty would be China.  Maybe.  I’m hoping the whole minoring in Chinese and studying abroad at Peking University thing might work in my favor.  I have always liked politics and read the newspaper habitually.  Plus, I would get to work in embassies all over the world and move every 3 years or so (assuming I would be a Foreign Service Officer).

The Downside:  The pay is nowhere near as high as other jobs on this list.  Plus, this may be too much travel.  It’s one thing to travel to other countries and do work there, but to actually live in a different country for an extended period of time like that?  I’m not sure that’s for me.  I REALLY like America.  Don’t get me wrong.  China is awesome.  But so is America.

Option 6:  Daniel Mater, M.D.

I could be a doctor.  All the books that I read for fun (both fiction and non-fiction) are medical books.  (Note:  Yes, I do read non-fiction books for fun.  Deal with it).  Of all the classes that I have taken at Miami (counting all my business classes) my favorite two classes have been Infectious Diseases and Experimenting with Microbes.  I love science.  In high school, my favorite class was AP Chemistry.  Science is way more interesting to me than business.  Plus, science allows me to constantly learn new things, travel (kind of, maybe, possibly?), and I would get to deal with all sorts of people considering I would be seeing patients.  I have no idea what kind of doctor I would want to be.  Whatever doctor I would become, I would be able to do problem solving and use math.  Plus, there is the perk of being Dr. Daniel Albert Mater.

The Downside:  It’s too late to change my major to something science-y so that I can apply to med-school.  Plus, all those years of med-school, plus residency would mean that I would be in school for a really long time and be in more debt that my mind can possibly comprehend.  I have done some research and I can do a one-year graduate program to crank out all the med-school requirements and then apply to med-school at the end of that year.  Possible.

 

Overall, it’s clear that I have some decisions to make.  Which is exactly why I went on Monster.com and took a survey about my personality and interests to see what jobs it would recommend.  Below is the list that I was given (pertinent jobs are in red):

 Intellectual Property Attorney

News Analyst

Design engineer

Biomedical Researcher

Network Integration Specialist

Software Developer

Psychiatrist

Cardiologist

Freelance Writer

Media Planner

Chief Financial Officer

Webmaster

Architect

Desktop Publishing Specialist

I think we can all agree that survey was no help.  That list pretty much covers every job I just listed above as something that I might like to do.  Monster.com also defined my personality as:

“… autonomous, aloof and intellectual; imaginative, innovative, and unique; critical, analytical and logical; intellectually curious, driven to learn and increase their competence and knowledge; socially cautious and reserved; organized and definitive.”

Make of that what you will but I think that it did a pretty good job analyzing and defining my life after only a few questions.  Monster.com knows me better than I know myself.  That's depressing.

This is where you all come in.  I need your help.  If you could please tell me what to do with the rest of my life, that would be great.  Thanks.

Chinese Service Quality

Everyone interacts with service providers.  Everyday.  In the US, we don’t think that much of it because we have become accustomed to a certain quality of service.  This quality of service is… different… in China.  Things that we often consider to be services, are considered to be goods here in China.  Example:  in the US, we commonly think of a restaurant as a form of service.  In China, going to a restaurant to Chinese people is considered being provided a good rather than a service.  In the past couple weeks there have been a few instances where I have encountered… less than stellar service from Chinese businesses/people.

Instance 1:  The Post Office 北京邮局

About a month and a half after I got here my parents sent me a package filled with Holy American Items (Sour Patch Kids, a Green Beer Day Shirt, and a Credit Card).  It had been a month and a half since they had sent it and I still haven’t received it.  Here is my timeline of events:

Monday: Go with Chinese tutor to post office to ask if they have my package.  I am told that all international mail goes to a different post office.

Wednesday: Go to the different post office alone.  Ask if they have my package.  No Luck.  I am given a phone number to call to locate my package.  I call the number, press ‘2’ for English service.  Person speaks online Chinese.  Awesome.  I am told my package is at a different post office (for all intents and purposes this post office will be called: different different post office (DDPO)).  I ask if I go to DDPO if I will be able to pick up my package.  No beans.  Or Package for that matter.  I am told I will get a call back with instructions.

…10 minutes later…

I get the call.  Service woman only speaks Chinese.  Yay.  She asks what the name on the package is.  I tell her “Daniel Mater.”  She doesn’t get it.  I tell her again, “Daniel Mater.”  She still doesn’t get it.  I have to explain to her that I am not Chinese, I am American, and that the name on the package is in English, not Chinese.  I am told I will get another call, later in the day.  (I do not sound Chinese.  This woman was a moron.  I mean that in a nice way, of course)

… later…

I miss the phone call.  Damn.  So I give the phone to my Chinese tutor and just tell her to figure out where my package is.  I am in Sour Patch Kid withdrawal, I need them.  After 10 minutes of the fastest Chinese I have heard spoken since I have been here, I find out that my package was sent back to the United States because no one picked up the package.  The icing on the cake?  The package was sent back 3 or 4 days before I went to the post office the first time.

Moral:  Chinese people love to screw with foreigner’s packages.  Especially when they have Sour Patch Kids.

 

Instance 2:  My Apartment’s Power 我公寓的电

Unlike in the US, power in China is pre-paid.  That means, at some point, your apartment is going to go Stone Age on you and you’re going to be left showering in the pitch black.  (Note:  That didn’t happen to me, but that is one of my biggest fears).  I have already had to refill the power in my apartment once, when I put 400 RMB on it (which entailed going to the Power Office and giving them my Power Card and then what I can only assume was magic.

Last week my apartment just went dark.  No Power.  I just figured I needed to put more money on the electricity card.  I was wrong.  I walked the 30 minutes there and 30 minutes back (hard life I lead, I know) and put 200 more RMB on the card.  The electricity still doesn’t work.  I call my middleman between me and the landlady (he translates for me).  He says he will call her to figure out the electricity.  I get a call back.  No one will come to fix the power.  I have to wait until the next day for someone to fix it.

Moral:  Living without power is like living in Detroit.  There’s nothing to do.

 

Instance 3:  My Laptop Broke 我的电脑坏了

I need my laptop to survive.  Plain and simple.  All of my school reports and everything is on it and if I lose access to my laptop, my life grinds to a halt.  This happened to me last week.  Any guess as to when?  Hint:  THE EXACT SAME DAY I LOST POWER.

Ya.  That was a bad day.

I call Apple and explain my problem; they told me to take it to the Apple store in Beijing and it would get fixed (they also told me I didn’t need to set up an appointment).  I go to the Apple store with my Chinese friend to help translate.  Guess what.  I needed an appointment.  I return the next day (Monday) with my Chinese friend and they take my laptop and say they will fix it (maximum of 2-3 days to fix).  I think I can live without my laptop for 2-3 days.

1 Day.

2 Day.

3 Day.

 

Still no laptop.  I call the Apple store.  “We’re gonna need at least 2-3 more days to fix your laptop.”

Damn.

This Saturday I just gave up.  I went to the Apple store at 10 in the morning (right when they opened) and told them I refused to leave until they fixed my laptop and gave it back.  I pestered them every 30 minutes until it got fixed.  I was talking to managers and everyone I could find to get my laptop fixed.  Five hours later I walked out with my laptop.  Mission Accomplished.

Moral:  Chinese Customer Service Representatives are just that.  Service Representatives for Chinese people.  Not for Foreigners.  

Guanxi (关系)

As I mentioned in my previous post, I have been accumulating Guanxi during my time here in China.  For those of you who do not know what Guanxi is (and I'm assuming that's just about all of you, this post is going to be all about Guanxi: what it is, its use, and probably a list of phrases that use Guanxi.

Guanxi.  (For those of you who are lazy and want to stop reading this post right now, you can click on this link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Guanxi)

While there is no direct translation of Guanxi from Chinese to English, the best way to describe Guanxi is that it is a form of Networking.  In the US, when you are looking for a job, you network.  You reach out to friends and acquaintances and see if they can help you find a job opportunity.  In China, Guanxi is much like that.  Guanxi is networking on Steroids, Crack, and Adderal all at the same time.  If you 'Have Guanxi' that means that you know someone who can owe you a favor and can provide you support in a time of need.  

The primary difference between Guanxi and Networking is that Guanxi can be far more tangible.  If you are unemployed, but you 'Have a lot of Guanxi' you will not be unemployed for long because your connections will feel obligated to get you a job.

Example.  I was at a bar about a month ago and a group of us were all talking and we met this guy named Benson.  I have no idea what his real name is, and I think Benson sounds kind of lame, so for the sake of this story, let's call him Mr. Guanxi.  As I was talking to Mr. Guanxi he asked me if I had ever been to this one club called Propaganda.  I said that I had and in fact, I even had a VIP card to get in.  He was impressed and said that me and my friends should meet up with him at Propaganda sometime.  He then offered to drive me and my roommate home (he had not been drinking) and I said OK.  As we walk out of the bar me and Dennis see this guys car.  It was a REALLY nice car.  I forget the model, but he told us that he bought it for the equivalent of 40,000 USD.  He then went on to explain that he is going to buy another car in the next few weeks.  He starts telling is that he works for Cisco and that he does sales (or so he said) for them.  The next part of the story is where Mr. Guanxi truly shows his Guanxi power.  He tells me and Dennis that if we ever need a job, to give him a call and he can get us a job at Cisco.  Ka-Blam. Guanxi.

(Caveat to that story is that a week later I gave Mr. Guanxi my VIP card to that club and I haven't heard from him since)

The ability to have Guanxi is especially important in a country like China where there are so many rules.  People who have Guanxi can use said Guanxi to gain them exemptions to these rules.  These exemptions can range from getting a table at a restaurant to getting permission to build an apartment complex where it is against zoning code.

Having a good vocabulary pertaining to the word Guanxi is very important (if you are a foreigner and generally think the entire concept of Guanxi is moderately ridiculous... like I do.)

As such, here is a taste of some of the phrases that my friends and I have taken to using when talking about Guanxi:

"Dude, I rocked some mad Guanxi earlier"

"I'm dripping in Guanxi"

"Can I get a napkin, I think I spilled some Guanxi"

"I'm rollin' in Guanxi"

"I bet that person showers in Guanxi"

... and so on and so forth, you get the idea.

Moral of the story:  If you don't think you have enough of this awesome Guanxi, you probably don't.  Tough.

Planes, Trains, Automobiles, and Gondolas

Traveling around China is much more of an adventure compared to traveling around The Glorious United States of America.  For one thing, there are very different options for traveling and all the options have their pros and cons.  This post is devoted to the (less) awesome aspects of different modes of transportation in China.

Planes.

Planes (飞机) are one of the dominant modes of transportation in both the United States of Awesome and the People’s Republic (what makes it a Republic?) of China.  The government has recently finished building a massive (marginally smaller than Jupiter) new terminal at the Beijing airport.  It’s very nice and clean (which is very different from the rest of China).  The one downside to traveling on planes is that it is far and away the most expensive way to get around China.  I’ll let you know how it goes when I take my first domestic flight.

Trains.

It is important to realize that there are two different kinds of trains in China.  Let’s first focus on the Subway.  The subway is the cheapest way to get around the city and depending on the time you go it is even possible to get a seat!  It costs the equivalent of $.30 every time I go on the subway and all I have to do is put my wallet near the scanner at all subway stations.  Since there is a subway station right by my apartment (公寓), it is very convenient to take the subway everywhere around the city.  Sometimes though the subway is packed and there are people whose job is squishing as many people onto the subway as possible.  Lets just say you get to know the people standing next to you far better than you would ever want to.  On the other hand, I was taking the subway a couple days ago and there was a man who was just sitting there folding origami animals and handing them out to people.

There are also the trains that take you from city to city.  You can either take a soft sleeper (an actual bed. AKA the best way to travel on the train), a hard sleeper (a bed, but not as comfortable), a soft seat (like an airplane seat except it doesn’t recline), a hard seat (terrible.), and then worst-case scenario is standing only.  This past weekend I went to Tai’an to go to the mountain Tai Shan.  The train ride was 8 hours each way.  I unfortunately did not have a soft sleeper, or a hard sleeper, or a soft seat.  I got stuck in a hard seat next to a Chinese woman who was monopolizing all my leg space with her massive bags that were filled with some kind of juice.  We’re just going to call it “China-Juice” because I have no idea what it was.  Then she got up and left and I finally had space to actually sit comfortably.  Then some man came down and sat in her seat.  He proceeded to hawk up loogies, smell terrible, and basically embody everything that makes me angry at China.  I therefore left my seat and stood for the rest of my trip because I couldn’t stand that guy.

On the way back to Beijing, I was stuck standing.  Imagine a time you had no fun.  Got it?  This was worse.  I was standing for a couple of hours before some Chinese guy decided that I could take his seat.  When I sat down, the Chinese people around me proceeded to teach me Chinese card games, ask me about America, ask me about China, and also had some very weird requests.  They asked me to sing and dance.  Ok.  Let’s think about this.  A bunch of random Chinese people asked a foreigner on the train to sing and dance.  DO I LOOK LIKE I’M AN ENTERTAINER?  I DO NOT LIKE SINGING.  I DO NOT DANCE (To all family members: please skip to next line.) UNLESS I AM ‘NOT SOBER’.

I was moderately offended but I decided to keep talking to these people because it was great opportunity to practice my Chinese.  We ended up talking about everything from Swine Flu to Skype.  At one point I was drawing a crowd because so many Chinese people wanted to see the foreigner speak Chinese.  It was weird.

Automobiles.

I am not allowed to drive in China seeing as I don’t have a Chinese drivers license.  However, I have extensively taken part in the ritual of taking a cab.  Cab drivers are… either awesome… or… assholes.  There truly is no middle ground.  Some cab drivers will be jolly, get you to your destination the fastest way possible, and not spit or smoke in the car.  Other drivers will: get lost, spit and smoke while driving, not talk, and blatantly rip me off for being a foreigner.  I somewhat know my way around Beijing so if I know that a driver is deliberately ripping me off, I will direct him or her to the right street.  Other times, the driver will take the longest route possible and when that happens, I get angry.  The drivers don’t like me when I’m angry.  I grow to 50 feet tall, turn green, and crush their car.  Kind of.  I just end up paying them a lot less than the meter in the cab says and tell them that I’m not an idiot and that it was too expensive and just walk away.  They don’t like this.  They can fricken deal with it.  Just because I’m a foreigner doesn’t mean they can rip me off.

Gondolas.

The preferred way to travel.  For sure.

While at Tai Shan, I realized there was a far easier way of getting down the mountain than walking down.  Any guesses as to how I got down the mountain.  Hint: I didn’t ride a yak down the mountain. 

I took a gondola.  It was awesome.  Granted, I did have to wait about 2 to 3 hours to get on the gondola during which time I would have made it to the bottom of the mountain had I walked.  The gondola ride was about 10 minutes long and allowed me to get amazing pictures of the surrounding area.  Plus, while I was waiting in line, I met a tour guide who spoke English and he offered to help me find a hotel for the night (I was homeless for a few hours) and also offered to help me find other places to visit around China.  I was rockin’ the Guanxi with him.  I’ll explain what Guanxi is in a later post and also describe the extent to which I have Guanxi.

 

I hope this was an informative narrative on how travel in China works.  I’ll see you all in a couple months!

Tai Shan

This weekend was the first weekend that I did not have class on Sunday evenings, so I took advantage of it and decided to go visit the mountain Tai Shan. 

(Side note: I didn’t have class because it was International Workers Day.  I went to arguably the most famous mountain in China.  On Labor Day.  In a Communist country.).

Taishan was amazing.  There is absolutely no other way to say it.  The climb up the mountain took about two and a half hours at least which sounds long, but it was worth it.  There were tens of thousands of people climbing the mountain the same day as me and absolutely none of them were foreigners.  I felt like I was in “Real China.” 

Along the way up the mountain there were incredible views.  I was able to look out over the entire mountain range and see for miles (or kilometers as they would say here… stupid metric system.  Dumb.).  There were huge rock formations and some of the formations even had characters on them, though I was unable to read them because my Chinese skills are somewhat limited. 

After getting to the top of the mountain, I needed some water and ice cream.  I have never felt more relieved in my entire life after getting water and ice cream after the treacherous climb up the mountain.  After walking along the top of the mountain for a bit, I got some food at some random restaurant.  Fried rice, potatoes, and noodles were all we got.  It was also one of the most filling meals I have eaten since I have been here because I was so exhausted.

The top of the mountain is a lot bigger than I thought it was when I was climbing.  Walking around I quickly realized that there were tons of smaller sites to see on the top.  There were famous rocks (it sounds boring, but its not) and famous vistas.  I even got to climb up and stand on the Immortal Bridge, which is exactly as cool as it sounds.  I don’t think I was allowed to climb on top of it because I quickly drew a crowed of Chinese people who began to point at me and speak quickly.  Nonetheless it was still awesome (see my photos to see me on top of the bridge.  It’s the picture with me standing on the three rocks over a ravine).

As I mentioned earlier, there were no foreigners at Taishan.  Also, many of the Chinese people that were at the mountain were not exactly the most traveled people ever, so many of them had never met a non-Chinese person before.  Many Chinese people would randomly come up to me and ask if they could take their picture with me.  I obliged, and then got a picture for myself with them because I found the situation funny. 

Getting down the mountain was quite difficult and that will be included in my next blog post that will be all about traveling. 

I’m looking forward to seeing all of my friends that are coming to China this summer!  See you all soon!